dair diary,
september 9 09 i was in a plane going to america got my things and went to the airport wen i went there i got on the plane, as i was on the plane suddenly the plan started acting up but it wasnt really bad, so went it was flying up and way i got tied and slept off when i woke up the plane started decending for some reason i was wondering what was goin on .
After the flaps of the plane started braking , the three engines on the plane started calapsing i was was very scared , then shockingly the plan crashed sttraight threw the water in a horrifying way "BASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSH" this was the time when i was knocked out, i was knocked out for about 8 hours , when i woke up i was so scared i didnt know were i was, what doing and what time it was then i just found out that i was in a island on my own, funny enough i was very hungry soo i went and looked in the tree and found a coconut, when i had finished eating , i went and eplored the place and found a cave and slept there and no one else was in the islan with
6 comments:
very good and intereating timi
jerome
A very vivid and energetic response, Timi - well done. I like the way you convey the sense of how confusing a plane crash would be. What would make it even better would be some more punctuation - how about re-editing your post and re-punctuating it?
I agree with Mr C-B. I was out of breath at the end of the first sentence. Think about replacing a few of those commas with full stops. I look forward to reading your edited and re-published description.
you are sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo predictable!!!!!!
but good!
it was all right
SKNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
PHOEBE
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